If a dream were eschatological, would we ever wake?

The hardest part about getting back from break is kicking my butt into gear to read Honors. The best part is seeing the people I missed over break (though bittersweet because I didn't get a chance to see my friends and family back home).

In case you all hadn't heard, I got offered a position as an RA Alternate on Lower Campus next year. The RSVP date was yesterday, so I sent Louis an email declining. I simply said that next year will be a very transitional period for my household, and I'd like to stay in the (best) dorm (on campus) with them. And it's true: next year will be an awesome year to live on CTL wing (not that this year hasn't already been frickadiculous). We have 16 (unless my memory fails me) brothers and one intent right now. We'll be graduating six people this May though, setting us back to a respectable 11 brothers, once we induct Kilby. And all of these guys, especially the new guys, are young and have lots of time and energy to put into household. Wing-life has been booming this year already, even with most of the seniors' time getting sucked up in school-work and fiances. Although it will be a shame to lose some of the great wisdom our seniors have, next year will be awesome because household will be large and predominantly young!

The issue with a young household is that our tradition states that you have to have been a brother for over a year to be Coordinator. It's not an ironclad thing, but it's tradition for a good reason. That leaves three people, including myself, who qualify. The other two will be seniors next year and, while we like to have seniors Coordinate whenever possible, they are likely to be busy. Neither has expressed a real interest in being Coordinator aside from "Well, if that's what household wants, I guess I'll do it." That leaves me. Now, I always intended to be Coordinator. Ever since I joined I wanted to; it sounded like a lot of fun. I always figured I'd be an RA my Junior year, then Coordinate my Senior year though. So I figure that this is God's way of shifting my schedule around a little. I will probably be Coordinator next year, as things are looking now, and I can apply again for RA as a Senior (perhaps). As I told my mom, this was the perfect situation because I didn't get completely shot down by ResLife, I just got a "try again", which I probably will. As is, I am quite excited about meeting all the great guys God will bring here next year. I often pray that He will guide to us all those who He has called in a special way to dedicate their college life to love. That sentence was very "obscure" (to quote Mr. Aaron Hottburg), but it's late and I don't know how else to phrase it.

Now on to the Thought of the Day:The other night, I had a dream about the End of the World. Now, to start, it's strange that I even had a dream. All the way through high school and the past 3 semesters, I maybe had under 10 dreams. In the past two weeks, however, I have both been sleeping more fitfully, and dreaming practically every-other night. It's weird, and I can't explain it, but it's kind of cool too.

The particulars of the dream have faded, and I can only remember the general impressions. It was not so much an "angels battling demons in a fiery sky as the last stars fall"-style Harburgian "Shekina Apocalypse", but more of a "The Last Night of the World"-style Bradburian event. All I can remember is standing around talking with my good friends and being certain that before the sun set I would see Christ come in glory. It was a wonderful feeling knowing that the sun need never rise again, but instead I would spend eternity in the light of the Son of God. I knew in my heart that (for the Christian) the Apocalypse is not a new Inquisition, but instead the loving Father coming to take us home. The Trumpet-Blast is not a war-cry but the start of a wonderful, eternal dance. It was the assurance that God would not abandon His Children amidst the carnage, but rather that this, like all things He does, is entirely for our good. It was a wonderful excitement, and I awoke feeling happy and at peace.

This dream was especially wonderful because my attitude towards the Second Coming has not always been one of excitement. Now, I have gone on-and-off on the idea of it happening in my lifetime. I eventually settled on "I Don't Care". I am equally happy to die in bed, a 93 year old man surrounded by family as I am to hear the final trumpet sound at the age of 20. The thing is, for much of my life the idea of St. Michael marching out and starting to play "Taps" has been a petrifying concept. I have not been prepared to go. My first thought on hearing a trumpet play was usually "Oh crap, where is a priest?" So this feeling of joy and excitement about the Second Coming, even though it was only in a dream, is a very welcome feeling. I haven't been scared of the Final Judgment for a while now, but it is always good to look back and reflect on how far I have come. Back in the day I would be scared every time I listened to The O.C. Supertones song "Tonight", now it is running through my head and I have a taste of the peace that they're singing about.I need the grace to always rest in this peace: that God has my life in His hands. I need it when I think about Death, Life, applying for a Graduate School or even the old familiar "Oh gosh, I can't talk to that girl, she'll think I'm creepy!" I need the confidence that God has a plan, a great work in my life that He is bringing to completion through my cooperation with His grace. The confidence that He is not simply by putting the planning and execution of my life squarely on my own shoulders. I am becoming aware of how much I need this confidence proper to a son of God, and I rejoice that He is even now starting to bring it about in me.My final thought is: let us live our lives completely to glorify God, so that when He comes it is the exclamation point on our praises and the denouement of what we have been telling and showing the world for years through our love: that we have a Father who loves us, and He will come to bring us Home.

New Jersey Update: Saturday

So the last day in Jersey is completed. We went to the abortion clinic again in the morning. Nothing new to report... we got more fingers and swearing this time though. We then came back to the house, had a lunch and went out. We went to Target with this "Ix" kid. She was not as revolutionarily strange as had been advertised, but seemed nice enough all around. Typical Ann Arbor 16-year-old anime-obsessed slash-writing girl, I guess. Claire bought the "adult" (i.e. grown-up, not sketchy) version of Apples to Apples. I bought X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse, because it finally got down to $20.

When we got back to the house, Mark and I put the first layer of paint on some siding that the Gilligans are putting up. We then had to leave for "Mass". I say "Mass" because we actually went to Divine Liturgy. It was pretty awesome. It was a pretty small (though it was the Saturday vigil) parish called St. Elias (named after Elias Magnus himself, Aaron Harburg). The architecture, mosaics and icons were beautiful. Their liturgy is also very good. There are many prayers in it that I wish we had at least equivalents to in the Roman rite. We certainly made at least one old woman's day, even though I was wearing jeans and a T-shirt (my dress-clothes were beyond dirty...). That sort of thing is always worth it. Showing them that there's still youth in the Church, y'know. It's one of the reasons that I love going on retreat where we do: it's a powerful witness.

So after that, we came back to the house (stopping only to get some flowers and a card for Mrs. Gilligan) and had a great (delayed) St. Patrick's Day dinner. Corned-beef and cabbage. I love them both super equally. After dinner, Mark and I put on the second coat of paint while the girls did some vacuuming. Everyone played about three games in a row of Apples to Apples then. It was a lot of fun. I won the first game, Susanna won the second and I forget who won the third. It is a very fun game and I am glad that Claire will be bringing it back to Steubenville.

So, on the whole: New Jersey was a lot of fun. We did a bunch of awesome things and none of us got in any huge fights. There was surprisingly little "I'm sick of being around you guys all day" friction, or else it all went over my head. I am definitely ready to get back to school though. Breaks are a lot of fun, but only when they end. That is the entirety of my tired thought of the day: all good breaks need to end sometime. This one was very good, and is ready to be over.The last thing that we did tonight (just got done with) was watching Aladdin. Disney's Aladdin. It was about 10 years since I last saw it, I think. At least. It is a very enjoyable film still, and probably one of my favorites. Anyone who says that Disney/Pixar only started making movies for older people with Shrek hasn't rewatched the old classics. I think that it's only after like, Hercules or something that Disney movies became /entirely/ insipid. At least, that's when I stopped watching.

The platitude of the day was: "Priests/religious are 'married to the Church'." I realize that I forgot to list the other various platitudes of the day that have occurred throughout the week... um... I don't remember most of them this late, but maybe if you ask me later I will.

Hesychia,
-L

New Jersey Update: Friday

So. Today was pretty darn awesome. We got to sleep in a bit (until 9AM). We then fiddled around for a few hours and helped Claire's mom around the house a bit. Then we headed off to Jersey City.

Once there, we went to Liberty State Park or something. We figured maybe we'd check out prices for the ferry to Ellis Island because Susanna wanted to go there. The ferry cost $11.50, so that was right out. Instead we walked along the sea-side path and actually got as decent a land-view of Ellis & the Statue as is possible. We also saw a police-dog (with -man) guarding the secret employee's-only bridge to Ellis Island. Well, not so much guarding as playing tug-o'-war with a rubber toy. It was pretty fun. They pretty much only close the bridge to the public so that the public has to pay $11.50 to get to the island. Which is dumb.

After that, we went over to a Mall nearby. And... (here it comes) we actually caught V for Vendetta on Opening Day! It was only $6.75 for the ticket, and the theater was actually a lot better than Showcase. The film itself was awesome! It has been a really long time since I saw an awesome movie that I have been anticipating for about a year on opening day! Return of the King may have been the last time. Suffice to say that the movie itself was, in a word, frickadiculous. I am already a big fan of the book (and everything that Alan Moore writes, in general), and I was very pleased with Hollywood's rendition. They did (of course) cut out quite a few subplots (/no/ movie could render full justice to Mr. Moore's intricacies), but left the main plot pretty untouched. They "updated" it a little, of course, but it was a very good interpretation. Natalie "The Mother of Luke Skywalker" Portman and Hugo "Agent Smith" Weaving were /excellent/ in the title roles. In short: I had high expectations for this movie. It surpassed them, and sent shivers down my spine several times. It has been /way/ too long since a movie did either of those things. I am definitely buying it when it comes out.

The Bishops (or their old "rating women") with undoubtedly rate it "O", unfortunately, so I'll have to watch it in my room or off-campus. They don't have a rating up yet, but DecentFilms.com gave it a -4 on their Moral Scale, which is as low as it goes. They put it in the same category as "The Last Temptation of Christ", which I don't think that it deserved. Their review was fair and showed familiarity with the source-work, but I think that it focused too much on the film-as-commentary on the Bush Administration, which is certainly there but not necessarily taken from the film. Also: the point of the story is not really to agree with all of the characters but to think about the issues presented. In that respect, the film-makers did very well.I think the part that made me the most happy was that they preserved the /heart/ of the book. V for Vendetta is definitely a "negative utopia" story in the tradition of "1984", but it doesn't have the same negative outlook on humanity. At the heart of it, the story teaches that people are good and have the wits and natural capacity to create a world worth living in. And that same spirit of "compassionate anarchy" (because Moore's book was always about anarchy vs. fascism, not left-wing vs. right-wing, as the movie tends more to see things) is definitely in the movie. Man, I really want to see it again. Maybe I'll convince someone in Steubenville to go.

Hesychia,
-L

New Jersey Update: Thursday

So this is my update for Thursday, in outline form:
1) We visited Victoria, Claire's friend. She has a baby and the fattest Labrador I've ever seen. Fun was had with all three of them.
2) We went down to the "Jersey Shore" and visited Claire's grandmother. We had cookies and tea at her house, watched CNN with her and kept up a running commentary on World News.
3) We went to the actual Jersey shore and walked on the beach. I picked up some shells to put on my shelf at school. Maybe it will make the room more festive/vacationy. We also tried to dig up hermit crabs unsuccessfully, and I wrote "Mark is a girl" in the sand /twice/. He was not expecting to come across the first one, but the second caught him completely off-guard. I then found a sign-post and Susanna found a pine-cone. We played baseball with them for a few minutes.
4) We went to "Little India" for dinner. It is apparently the most authentic Indian cuisine experience around, including anything in "the City". I wanted to go and managed to convince Claire (i.e. said "Let's go eat Indian over Spring Break.") and the others. It was excellent food. I had some sort of Goat. It was their "mild" spiciness-setting, so it was not overwhelming (though certainly not tame by my Swedish standards) and we had enough yogurt to go around. So there was actually no intestinal difficulties, which was strange and welcome! Definitely worth doing again, maybe I'll look into Rajah Rani's when I'm back in "Tree-Town".
And that's all I have to say about that.

Hesychia,
-L

New Jersey Update: Wednesday

So. We didn't do much today. Mostly sat around and read "Piers Plowman". I've already finished the reading for Tuesday because Thursday's reading is twice as long and I figure I'd better get started on it. I like it pretty well so far. It reminds me of Candide and Pilgrim's Progress. The best parts are some of the long, hyphenated names. Piers' son's name is something like "Always-listen-to-your-elders-and-do-what-they-say-or-maybe-you'll-wish-you-had". Priceless.

Other than that, we spent some time hanging out on the waterfront in 300mph winds, looking across the water at some Staten Island landfill. Mark and I went for a pleasant walk before dinner. Dinner itself consisted of excellent Shepard's Pie. We then played a very long game of Apples to Apples. This week has been my first introduction to that game, but it is very fun. I totally pwned this time.

So, the Thought of the Day:
So I guess Piers Plowman has got me thinking... in both this work and Canterbury Tales, the Church and its ministers get a hard scolding. It was a time of great difficulty in the Church due to the priest-shortage from the Plague. The Church's weakened state allowed a bunch of rogues to get in and abuse their power; it definitely needed to be whipped into shape. The thing is: the people who stepped up to do it were generally people who loved the Church! They certainly say hard things and bring ugly realities to light, but they do so recognizing that these gluttons and liars are not the Church but rather those that have invaded her sacred body.

Chaucer and Langland both admired simple men of God and wanted to see churchmen return to that. I think that, because their satire was written not only with spite (like too much of the satire today) but with a real love for the mystical body that they were criticizing, it was far more effective in its goal. So my thought for today is: we see a priest shortage today, as well as scandal within the clergy (which is certainly nothing new). Why are the people who /hate/ the Church the only ones standing up and calling attention to it? I don't think that we can entrust God's words of chastisement to pagans who would laugh at any downfall of the Bride of Christ. The Church and those who love her need to start examining the situation and applying rebuke where necessary.

I do not mean that we have been lacking in the area of general apologies given and sins acknowledged (though perhaps long after the fact). What I mean is that the Church hierarchy, in their concern to avoid scandal, did not properly distance itself from the sins committed. We all ended up looking like the protectors of the wolves rather than protectors of the sheep. There are many possible ways that the Church could have taken a stronger stance, rather than merely a reactionary/apologetic role, and I really don't know if a public flogging would have worked better than a simple excommunication. All I know is that in an attempt to preserve the solidarity of Catholics against the pointing fingers of the heathens, we ended up in solidarity with the wicked.

Some say that it is a good thing that there was so much attention on the scandals in the clergy, because it spurred us on and cleansed the House of God. That may be true in part, but I cannot imagine that the poisonous gossip of scoffers is what is needed ultimately. Far too many of us are either ready to sit back and let them do the job, or else we are too defensive in our rejection of their criticism. The Church needs a renewal of its devotion to the Cardinal virtues, and the tongues to administer those life-giving waters are not the wicked tongues of blasphemers and gossipers but a tongue that loves as it chastises, drawing all of its words from the humble Eucharist that it receives.

New Jersey Update: Tuesday

I am pretty beat and feel like sleeping, but I told my lil' sis (who I have no assurance is actually /reading/ this) that I would update pretty much daily, and today was a "big day".

First off: it was Mark Spencer's birthday. He isn't doing anything on the Webs except email during Lent, but if you feel like it you can send him an email wishing him a Happy Jerkday. He probably won't check it until after break though. He's weird like that. So it is also Pi Day, Albert Einstein's Birthday and Charlotte Spencer's Birthday. An auspicious date all around.Secondly: we went into "the City" and walked around today. I had seen some of the stuff already when my family went to New York for a few days (or was it a week?), but it was still nice to see it again. We mostly walked around looking at buildings. We visited a Salvation Army that was purported to be three stories tall, but it was the wrong one (and actually smaller than our Salvation Army in Ace-Deuce). So, no Reez, I didn't buy you a dress... :(

We had lunch at this "authentic" pizza place that Claire had raved about. The pizza was very good, but I am not convinced to spurn either Cottage Inn or Anthony's. The best part was that the cheese actually tasted like mozzarella cheese, rather than the vague "pizza cheese" that most places have. For dinner we simply grabbed McDonald's since we were short on time.We had a nice little break in Central Park. We just found a large rock to lounge on for a while and just rest. It was a moderately warm but very windy day, my favorite type of weather ever! So that was a lot of fun. We then checked out the Guggenheim museum and decided that $15 was a bit steep for admissions.

Last of all, we saw Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. It was pretty aight! Mark and I especially dissected it a bit afterwards and detailed pros and cons of the performance. We all agreed that it was a very good show, but that (at least Mark and I agreed) Les Miserables is a superior work in all categories. The most interesting part was comparing the movie (which we had all already seen) with the stage-performance. Each medium had its own definite strengths. There were certain parts that were done better because of film's advantages, but the last half of the play, and especially the ending, were /much/ better in the play. The one part that possibly disappointed me was some discrepancy in the lyrics. I grew up listening to two CD's: Les Miserables and Phantom. I know Phantom's songs pretty darn well, and there were lyrics that were different in this performance, never for the better in my opinion. It could be that I'm just bad with change. I have accused myself of that in the past.

So that's that, I guess. I am doing very well, and looking forward to sleeping soon. I have been mulling over several issues that may deserve a post once they have finished percolating.

Hesychia,
-L

New Jersey Update: Monday

Now ends the first week-day in New Jersey (I am too tired to count what day of vacation it is). Tomorrow we go explore "the City" and see Phantom, etc.

Today we went to the Bronx Zoo. It was pretty tight. A few of the cool animals were not there due to "cold weather" (it was 64F), but that just meant that we could take our time looking at the other ones. Some of the monkeys were hilarious, and the Black Panthers (proper-noun intended) were just too cool for such as the schools. I have to say though that the best part was this little video of tigers swimming that they played in the tiger-section. It had this one part where this tiger backs reluctantly into a pool, testing the water with his toe then slowly easing his way in. It was /frickadiculous/! After he finally sat down in the pond, you could only see his head above the water. He just started lapping the water with his tongue, then got the most ludicrous look on his face just before the cut! That probably made my day.I'm not sure why I love animals so much. They all just make me laugh. My household brothers just don't understand why pictures such as this send me into convulsions, and I'm not really sure either. It's just this vague impression that God made animals as this huge joke. They all walk around, looking so serious, but at the same time I get the distinct impression that they have absolutely no idea what they're doing! So suffice to say that I had fun today, and got myself completely worn out. I sort of miss my dog.

Apparently my little sister is probably going to live in Thomas More next year, because her potential room-mate wants to live there. On the one hand, I love Marian and know more about the Marian households, so it makes me a little sad that she's going to be all the way across the campus instead of two seconds away. On the other hand, I can see her fitting into TM pretty well too, what with the general jockiness that seems to exist there. Whatever, I'm still just "geeked" that she's coming here (there?).

Hesychia,
-L