If a dream were eschatological, would we ever wake?

The hardest part about getting back from break is kicking my butt into gear to read Honors. The best part is seeing the people I missed over break (though bittersweet because I didn't get a chance to see my friends and family back home).

In case you all hadn't heard, I got offered a position as an RA Alternate on Lower Campus next year. The RSVP date was yesterday, so I sent Louis an email declining. I simply said that next year will be a very transitional period for my household, and I'd like to stay in the (best) dorm (on campus) with them. And it's true: next year will be an awesome year to live on CTL wing (not that this year hasn't already been frickadiculous). We have 16 (unless my memory fails me) brothers and one intent right now. We'll be graduating six people this May though, setting us back to a respectable 11 brothers, once we induct Kilby. And all of these guys, especially the new guys, are young and have lots of time and energy to put into household. Wing-life has been booming this year already, even with most of the seniors' time getting sucked up in school-work and fiances. Although it will be a shame to lose some of the great wisdom our seniors have, next year will be awesome because household will be large and predominantly young!

The issue with a young household is that our tradition states that you have to have been a brother for over a year to be Coordinator. It's not an ironclad thing, but it's tradition for a good reason. That leaves three people, including myself, who qualify. The other two will be seniors next year and, while we like to have seniors Coordinate whenever possible, they are likely to be busy. Neither has expressed a real interest in being Coordinator aside from "Well, if that's what household wants, I guess I'll do it." That leaves me. Now, I always intended to be Coordinator. Ever since I joined I wanted to; it sounded like a lot of fun. I always figured I'd be an RA my Junior year, then Coordinate my Senior year though. So I figure that this is God's way of shifting my schedule around a little. I will probably be Coordinator next year, as things are looking now, and I can apply again for RA as a Senior (perhaps). As I told my mom, this was the perfect situation because I didn't get completely shot down by ResLife, I just got a "try again", which I probably will. As is, I am quite excited about meeting all the great guys God will bring here next year. I often pray that He will guide to us all those who He has called in a special way to dedicate their college life to love. That sentence was very "obscure" (to quote Mr. Aaron Hottburg), but it's late and I don't know how else to phrase it.

Now on to the Thought of the Day:The other night, I had a dream about the End of the World. Now, to start, it's strange that I even had a dream. All the way through high school and the past 3 semesters, I maybe had under 10 dreams. In the past two weeks, however, I have both been sleeping more fitfully, and dreaming practically every-other night. It's weird, and I can't explain it, but it's kind of cool too.

The particulars of the dream have faded, and I can only remember the general impressions. It was not so much an "angels battling demons in a fiery sky as the last stars fall"-style Harburgian "Shekina Apocalypse", but more of a "The Last Night of the World"-style Bradburian event. All I can remember is standing around talking with my good friends and being certain that before the sun set I would see Christ come in glory. It was a wonderful feeling knowing that the sun need never rise again, but instead I would spend eternity in the light of the Son of God. I knew in my heart that (for the Christian) the Apocalypse is not a new Inquisition, but instead the loving Father coming to take us home. The Trumpet-Blast is not a war-cry but the start of a wonderful, eternal dance. It was the assurance that God would not abandon His Children amidst the carnage, but rather that this, like all things He does, is entirely for our good. It was a wonderful excitement, and I awoke feeling happy and at peace.

This dream was especially wonderful because my attitude towards the Second Coming has not always been one of excitement. Now, I have gone on-and-off on the idea of it happening in my lifetime. I eventually settled on "I Don't Care". I am equally happy to die in bed, a 93 year old man surrounded by family as I am to hear the final trumpet sound at the age of 20. The thing is, for much of my life the idea of St. Michael marching out and starting to play "Taps" has been a petrifying concept. I have not been prepared to go. My first thought on hearing a trumpet play was usually "Oh crap, where is a priest?" So this feeling of joy and excitement about the Second Coming, even though it was only in a dream, is a very welcome feeling. I haven't been scared of the Final Judgment for a while now, but it is always good to look back and reflect on how far I have come. Back in the day I would be scared every time I listened to The O.C. Supertones song "Tonight", now it is running through my head and I have a taste of the peace that they're singing about.I need the grace to always rest in this peace: that God has my life in His hands. I need it when I think about Death, Life, applying for a Graduate School or even the old familiar "Oh gosh, I can't talk to that girl, she'll think I'm creepy!" I need the confidence that God has a plan, a great work in my life that He is bringing to completion through my cooperation with His grace. The confidence that He is not simply by putting the planning and execution of my life squarely on my own shoulders. I am becoming aware of how much I need this confidence proper to a son of God, and I rejoice that He is even now starting to bring it about in me.My final thought is: let us live our lives completely to glorify God, so that when He comes it is the exclamation point on our praises and the denouement of what we have been telling and showing the world for years through our love: that we have a Father who loves us, and He will come to bring us Home.