"Please, please be what I need! Because I've been wrong before..."

So I guess thus ends the shittiest week I've had in about a year, which came as the crowning glory of the worst two or three weeks I've had in about as long. The short-form is: loneliness, betrayal, hurt, resolution, and then more pain that I guess I deserved. I don't really feel like dwelling on it anymore though, and most things have come to resolution, or at least to a end. As I've said, "moving on doesn't always involve closure". At least not for a while sometimes. I believe in the grace of God though, and I can wait for His timing. I know that it is only in seeing the Beatific Vision that anyone will actually see and understand another person. For now, however, let's focus on the bright side of life.

This past week has been a great week of brotherhood. It has been really crappy emotionally, but my household brothers have really been there for me with a ready ear, good advice or just plain hanging out and distracting me with good times. I have also suddenly metamorphed from someone who is decent at Halo to someone who is pretty darn okay at Halo. Channeling my angst into bringing the pwnage has been cathartic. I'm really excited for the summer, because so many of us live in the close area. Mr. Tumnus, Krakows and potentially Das Mueller and Odin are planning on going up to Canada to visit Pinne for a day/weekend. That should be a good time.Also, I went on Fiat's (Fiat Santa Familiae, a girl's household) "Datenight". Essentially what it was is this: two of their girls planned out the whole thing, including getting dates for the girls who were going. So it was like one massive blind-date for most everyone involved. And since Houde is dating Sarah Heidelbaugh, they asked him if he knew any guys who might be interested. And so five CTL guys ended up going on the datenight. That made it awesome because any situation where you have a bunch of guys who don't know each other gets awkward, so it was nice to be going with brothers. Tumnus and Nate had a bit of an awkward time, Nate because his date wouldn't talk to him and Tumnus because he made it that way for himself (his date was actually fairly social/coo). I, however, had a blast. My date was this Junior Nursing Major, whom I had never met before, named Jill. She was not awkward at all, and we had a great time.

The night itself involved going to this Christian Farm Camp Thing. Some of the townies knew the guy "Uncle Bill" who ran it, so they got a good deal for a private thingie. First thing that we did was go on a longish hay-ride around their property (which was really big). That was pretty fun because me and Mr. Tumnus sat next to each other and goofed off most of the time. We pretty much had a telling-embarrassing-stories party, which was good times. I told the Kindergarten Tae Kwon Do story and the Spring Hill Speedo story and Mr. Tumnus rocked the Stealing the Wolfdog/Bootcamp story. Our dates had themselves a good laugh at our antics and were not awkward about participating in the revelries. Next we did barn-dancing. Now, those that know me know that I am not a country boy (despite dreams of being an emo cowboy when I was little). You may also know that I am not at all much of a dancer. So it may surprise you to hear that it was actually a lot of fun. "Uncle Bill" is a certified Square-Dance Caller, so he ran the thing for us with the aid of a small-record player (for real). It ended up being a really good time, and I have decided that I quite like dances where you are told what to do. I am in one accord with Ioe on this one. After the dance, we had a large bonfire with s'mores. It had been a while since I had one of those. Tumnus and Nate went home early after this, and missed out. We played a fun game called "I Have Never" and those what could play guitar played us some songs. At the end, there was some drama because of lost keys, but that was eventually sorted out. All in all, it was a blast, and just what I needed to get my mind off of things that, as much as I would like to resolve them now, I will probably simply have to wait out.

I'm sorry that things didn't work out the way that we both hoped they would.
-L